Big Ben's loss of his appendix last year has made him faster this year. I swear by it. Look at how composed he was against the Raven's. He tore them apart. Look for him to do the same with the Browns this weekend. Harrison made McNair eat his ass all game long last week and Anderson should get a heaping helping of him this week. By the way, am I the only one that thought McNair looked fat last week? Cut back the cheetos and beer man!!!
Braylon Edwards was caught doing OHIO at a game earlier this year. That's right, a former Wolverine doing OHIO. What has this world come to? Well here's a message to you Mr. Edwards, we Buckeye fans don't want you in our fan base! Go back to Ann Arbor!
Who is this Derek Anderson I keep hearing about? Supposedly this guy is proving to be one hell of a quarterback. Brady Quinn who? He'll air it out this week but the Steelers D will keep him in check.
This folks is going to be a slug fest. The only thing better to watch would be tag team corn oil wrestling with each team having a pig as a partner. God damn that would be awesome to watch, FOX, take note, this is my reality tv show so don't steal it bitches!
The Steelers dominated the Browns earlier this season. They will try to do the same but expect a much more refined Brown's team to put up a fight. Rumor has it that Steelers head coach sent a case of cupcakes laced with Rohypnol to ensure the win.
Steelers 28 ... Browns 14
Philadelphia at Washington
Oh how I hate the Redskins. I used to live in the DC area and those fans are crazy, but the Eagles fans may be more so, and dangerous. Hopefully one of them can pop Campbell in the back of the head with a battery.
Westbrook is going to walk onto FedEx field, go up to Joe Gibbs and nutt check him before the game even gets started. What's Joe going to do? Nothing, no one can ever rebound quickly for a well placed nutt check, that shit's lethal, Superman couldn't even rebound, nutt checks and kryptonite fuck him up.
McNabb has been hit and miss all season, usually miss when I need him to come up huge in my fantasy football league but that's another story. The Redskins D should cause him so many problems that by the end of the game he'll be talking to his attorneys about a restraining order that won't allow them within 100 yards of him. The only problem is he'll still probably end up tackling himself.
What happened to Santana Moss this season? Is he even on the team anymore? Last I heard he hurt his foot while doing the electric slide at the Goldberg Bar Mitzvah.
So really this game will come down to Portis vs. Westbrook. Who would you rather have in street brawl? That's right, I'd choose Michael Vick too, but he's going to prison so he's not an option, so I'll go with Westbrook. He'll be the difference maker in this game with at least two touchdowns and over 120 yards rushing.
Eagles 24 ... Redskins 20
Atlanta at Carolina
Steve Smith will be playing quarterback this week and throwing to himself since none of the quarterback's on the Panthers team seem to be able to find him. Testeverde will poo poo all over the field this week.
Joey Harrington, what man goes by Joey anymore? I haven't heard someone called Joey since Full House was on. Did you know Lance Armstrong is banging one of the Olsen twins? How fucked up is that? Doesn't he have kids that could be their nanny? Anyways, Harrington should be able to put up decent numbers this week against a struggling Carolina team that has very little offense.
Atlanta 20 ... Carolina 14
St. Louis at New Orleans
Hi, I'm Drew Brees and I like to plays footsball. He's back. Yes I've said it, he's finally playing like a top QB. Sure he struggled the first few games but look for him to finish strong.
This folks is going to be ugly. I mean Hillary Clinton ugly:
You know she just finished say, "You shut your whore mouth when men are speaking!".
The Saints are going to tear the Rams apart. After they get done, they'll kill old people just for fun and rob Girl Scouts.
St Louis 10 ... New Orleans 47
Buffalo at Miami
I'm not even going to say anything good about Miami. I'm not even sure if there is anything good to say. They have warm weather? It's a good place for old people to live? Nude beaches? I give up.
Lynch, Evans and Losman are going to have some fun this week. They face another defense that couldn't stop Pee Wee Herman from scoring on them, although they may like that. Lynch and Evans both had an outstanding week against the Bengals.
Buffalo rolls this week and dominates the Dolphins.
Buffalo 28 ... Miami 7
Remainder coming soon...
Denver at Kansas City
Jacksonville at Tennessee
Minnesota at Green Bay
Cincinnati at Baltimore
Dallas at NY Giants
Detroit at Arizona
Chicago at Oakland
Indianapolis at San Diego
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