Fantasy Football Week 4 Predictions

Disclaimer: I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about but it sure beats the hell out of work.

You say, "Week 4 predictions already? It's only Tuesday! What the hell are you thinking. Don't you need a few days to analyze what happened last week?". I say hell no! I have work to do, or at least to fake goddammit!

This week was a crazy one. Teams made more adjustments in the last few minutes before kickoff than Scott did all year to his manzear and it paid off for some, but for others it was just a futile attempt to put off the inevitable.

Things we learned from last week:

- Glass Bottom Boats is officially the league bitch
- Knuckinfutz currently holds the worst blowout bitch slap record and should consider a name change
- River Rats, which they did win, they still love the man meat
- Ass Crust is for real

So let's get on with this train wreck shall we?

Funky Town Puppet Pimps (2-1) - Erie Warriors (2-1)

Why Funky Town Puppet Pimps may win: If Delhomme plays he should put up huge numbers. Westbrook is coming off an amazing week. McGahee should put up solid numbers against Cleveland. FTPP has what looks to be some pretty soft match ups this week and should be able to capitalize on that.

Why Erie Warriors may win: Palmer has to have a huge night against NE. TO has found his groove and was rolling last week against the Bears. If Delhomme and Westbrook are out a huge advantage goes to the Erie Warriors. Also the Lions D was dominated by the Eagles last week, look for Chicago to put an even bigger hurt on them.

What will happen: Delhomme won't play and Westbrook will sit this week. McGahee will run all over Cleveland opening up the score a little. New England won't give Palmer enough time. TO will see the endzone at least twice. The Lions D will be torn apart by the Bears and the Cowboys will keep the Rams in check. This will be a close one, but you have to go with the Erie Warriors with the injuries that the Funky Town Puppet Pimps face.

Final Predication: Erie Warriors 109 ... Funky Town Puppet Pimps 98

Ass Crust (3-0) - Swamp Donkey (1-2)

Why Ass Crust may win: Brady tears the Bengals a new one(that hurt me to say). Welker gets the nod over Boldin this week and puts up solid numbers. Edgerrin James has to find and hit the holes hard against the Steelers.

Why Swamp Donkey may win: They need to start Manning, especially with a possible injury to Cutler. Parker should find plenty of room to run against a poor Arizona Defense. Although Steve smith was quiet last week, look for him to get right back into the swing of things.

What will happen: Brady, Brady, Brady. He will be all over the Bengals. It will be like pitch and catch for him in his back yard. Ass Crust's receivers will be all over their opponents putting up solid numbers. Manning will put up some decent numbers with Burress making some big plays. Steve Smith will be dangerous. It will come down to the better Defense this week and that nod has to go to the Eagles.

Final Prediction: Ass Crust 124 ... Swamp Donkey 106

Knuckinfutz (1-2) - River Rats (1-2)

Why Knuckinfutz may win: River Rats, River schmatts. Manning hasn't done much to help them win. If not for Houshmandzadeh River Rat's WR's are a joke. Also, River Rats is plaqued with bye week players this week, nice planning on their part.

Why River Rats may win: Shit, I don't know. They only have one starting RB right now for this week. I guess I can say Houshmandzadeh will continue to put up decent numbers. New England will harass Rudi Johnson all day.

what will happen: Blowout of the week. Knuckinfutz owns River Rats all day long. This one doesn't even get close. Manning gives River Rats some hope but it's not enough. The glaring weakness of them shows through this week.

Final Predication: Knuckinfutz 98 ... River Rats 65

Poop (2-1) - Glass Bottom Boats (0-3)

Why Poop may win: Romo has been amazing and just keeps on rolling. Kitna will be harassed by the Bears all day long and won't get going. Glass Bottom Boats just doesn't have the depth to pull out the win.

Why Glass Bottom Boats may win: They have to. 0-4 just can't happen. They are on life support right now. The Bears D will be all over Detroit and that looks to be the only hope they have this week.

What will happen: Blowout 2 of the week. Poop comes out strong and never looks back. Romo once again puts up huge numbers. Ward will put up some decent numbers against the Eagles, however this matchup won't even be close.

Final Predication: Poop 118 ... Glass Bottom Boats 84

E-Dub Gangsta's (1-2) - Plumbdumb (2-1) Game of the Week

Why E-Dub Gangsta's may win: Favre isn't too old. Coles, Johnson and Harrison all put see a lot of touches this week. The Steelers D clamps down on Arizona.

Why Plumbdumb may win: His new logo is damn funny. So funny I refuse to write anything else about why they may win.

What will happen: E-Dub has the talent to get back to .500 this week. Plumbdumb's matchups will be too much for them to pull off this win. It will be close all day long. Favre and McNabb will be the playmakers in this weeks matchup. Look for both of them to air it out.

Final Predication: E-Dub Gangsta's 119 ... Poop 115