Fantasy Football Week 3 Predictions

Funky Town Puppet Pimps (1-1) - KnuckinFutz (1-1)

Why Funky Town Puppet Pimps might win: They are gathering steam. A close quality win last week has given them a new swagger in their step. Just look at the new name and it says it all. This may be the most solid name they've had so far and we all know it's what's in a name that counts.

Why KnuckinFutz might win: Funky Town Puppet Pimps has been struggling this season to find their identity. If the team from the first week rears it's ugly head KnuckinFutz will be there to pounce on the win.

What Will Happen: Delhomme will continue to roll. Leinert will struggle against the Raven's D. Ahman Green will have a harder time getting past the Colts D this week. Randy Moss will see at least two TD's against Buffalo. If the Bengals D doesn't stiffen up Shaun Alexander will be all over the field.

Final Prediction: Funky Town Puppet Pimps 109 ... KnuckinFutz 102

Glass Butt Plugs (0-2) - Ass Crust (2-0)

Why Glass Butt Plugs might win: GBP has been struggling since week 1. They need a win badly to stop the bleeding. They put up just a measely 77 points in week one and only 97 in week 2. Also, GBP has a chance to win if Ass Crust benches there starters and starts their 2nd and 3rd string players.

Why Ass Crust might win: There is no might about it. Ass Crust is on a roll and will continue to dominate.

What Will Happen: GBP will see a glimmer of hope early on. They will get into a groove but then things will slowly disintegrate. The Bears D has looked good but Tony Romo will pick them apart. Tom Brady has been solid and he will put up big numbers against Buffalo. Reggie Wayne had a slow week last week, but look for Manning to go to him frequently to avoid the loss that Carolina received last week. The Phillie D will be back and will be hungry. Kitna will have trouble all day long. Deion Branch will continue to be a playmaker after breaking out last week.

Final Unbiased Prediction: Ass Crust 123 ... Glass Butt Plugs 99

Swamp Donkey (1-1) - River Rats (0-2)

Why Swamp Donkey might win: Don't be fooled by their loss last week. This is a solid team with lots of talent to spread the ball around. Cutler will come out big against Jacksonville.

Why River Rats might win: They struggled a bit last week, but look for Lamont Jordan and Peyton Manning to come up big in this game.

What Will Happen: Steve Smith will have another huge week along with Plaxico Burress. Manning will struggle briefly against a hungry Houston D that believes they can win. Lamont Jordon and TJ Houshmandzadeh will put up solid numbers but in the end it won't be enough to hold off Swamp Donkey.

Final Predication: Swamp Donkey 125 ... River Rats 106

Poop (1-1) ... Plumbdumb (2-0)

Why Poop might win: Last week they stumbled big time, but they'll get right back up on their feet with Frank Gore exposing the Steelers Defense as frauds and worthless pieces of dog shit. LT will struggle against a strong Packers D and won't break out until later in the season. Andrea Johnson is said to be out also which would be a big hurt on Plumbdumb's team.

Why Plumbdumb might win: If Andrea Johnson is healthy, Plumbdumb will have a solid set of receivers to go to all day long. Hasselbeck could have a solid week against a shaky Bengals Defense, plus his wife is hot and needs a batch of baby batter on her eyes.

What Will Happen: Romo will come up strong against a great Chicago D. Gore will run wild against the Steelers and Cotchery will have another big week. Chad, Future Hall of Famer, Johson will have 2 TDs and keep it close. The Bengals D will show up and put pressure on Hasselbeck all day long plus pull a train on his wife. LT will continue to struggle, but he'll see the endzone at least once this week. This will be the game of the week.

Final Tough Prediction: Plumbdumb 131 ... Poop 128

Erie Warriors (1-1) - E-Dub Gangsta's (1-1)

Why Erie Warriors might win: Look for Palmer to come out strong against Seatle. T.O. may finally shut is fucking pie whole and have a huge week.

Why E-Dub Gangsta's might win: Favre is out to prove his not too old and that his brain isn't much just yet. Reggie Bush and the Saint's finally put up big numbers against the Titans.

What Will Happen: The Giants will shut down Portis, but Addai, Palmer and Owens will carry the load. Also look for ex-Michigan Wolverine Cum Dumpster Braylon Edwards to have a solid game against Oakland. E-Dub's team will struggle all day to get anything going. Favre and Bush won't get enough to get it done.

Final Predication: Erie Warriors 116 ... E-Dub Gangsta's 101